Friday, December 31, 2004

Insidious, perhaps?

Hiroshige - Coastal Landscape
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

Hmmm.....exquisite dance of shadows?

Insidious, perhaps?

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

A Whole Cow

J. Clark - Poppy Field II
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

Because I am never drawn to movies made about the books I have particularly enjoyed I loved this quote from author Anne Fine:

'Hollywood takes a whole cow and turns it into a stock cube.'

Just remember what they did with The English Patient!

Monday, December 27, 2004

No Feeling Is Final

Seated Woman - Matisse
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Inadvertent Scratching Of The Surface

Originally uploaded by Adagio.

An unexpected warm rush of tears reminds me how shallowly these ghosts are buried. Inadvertently scratch the surface and up they come. Muted somewhat by time but recognisable nonetheless.

Always a tugging at the heart? Only time will tell.

Dance Of Shadows

Boy in Blue
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

The small child toddles on sturdy legs,
watched over by the woman not his mother.
In one hand he carries a basket; with the other
he holds himself steady.
I love his smallness; the long ago delight,
exhibited in his autonomous journey

towards the photographer.

I know this child, now grown.
Know familiarly the autonomous steps,
grown bigger; more deliberate.
It is impossible to disconnect
the man from the child.
Or fail to see the shadow of one
peering out from behind the other.
Excruciating not to extend heart and arms,
to embrace both: man and child,
fused in this exquisite dance of shadows.


Saturday, December 25, 2004

Imagine Me Deaf

Haus Der Kunst Munchen
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

Speaking a language I cannot
Always understand, I want to shout:
Talk plainly, elucidate,
I'm trying to hear you. Just this once
Imagine me deaf; use words and
Facial expressions and sign language
And do not suppose it does not
Matter. It does.

June 2001

The Eternal Present

Cairns - Mama Toto
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

Grief associated with a current situation can effortlessly trigger off past grief. Tickle it awake. Past grief becomes as present as its trigger. Can overwhelm it. One minute, a person may be grieving the loss of something current and the next, reliving the grief associated with a former loss. The switch is unconscious. Instantaneous. For an indeterminate period of time, former loss overwhelms current loss. One might think that each arousal of past grief would edge it closer to a final resolution. And perhaps this is so. Still, I am more inclined to believe that some experiences of grief will remain ever-sensitive to those emotions that in some way imitate the original feeling of loss. Ever-vulnerable to arousal. And though, over time, relieved of much of the original pain, these griefs may never subside entirely. In fact, may never subside in the least. The eternal present.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Hands Of The Gods

Rainy Day Activities
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

We try not to talk
About the weather,
Staring past rain-mottled windows,
Daring occasional glances
At each other, biting our tongues
With every squally onslaught
Until eventually you call - ten clubs;
A probability equally bizarre
As the meteorological hand
We've been dealt
- and we laugh.

July 2002

A Tugging At The Heart

Red Shawl
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

'For a few of us, there will always be a tugging at the heart....we can ask and ask but we can't have again what once seemed ours for ever'.

J.L. Carr A Month in the Country

Sunday, December 19, 2004

The Sad Irony

Originally uploaded by Adagio.

For the uninitiated and those, like me, who find traditional Christmas cake somewhat heavy, let me recommend stollen. Today I will put on my Vicarious Baker hat again and bake several stollen. Some for gifts and another to serve to the friends who will gather here next Friday night. Meantime, it strikes me as sadly ironic that the one who introduced me to this culinary delight will not be present. That Christmas Eve has come around again so quickly is yet another reminder that what might initially seem like a second chance, may, in actual fact, be nothing more than a dead end.

And Still The Broccoli Grows And Grows

Edgar Degas
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

So much can happen within the space of a week. Barely time to breathe. A hand is forced. A major decision made. Life changes. Significantly. Paradoxically, on the one hand, freedom increases. While on the other, further dependence is introduced. And still the broccoli grows and grows.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Deprecation Of The Worst Kind

Girl On A Bridge - Munch
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

So, it seems this tentative, Christmas Eve 'hostess with the leastest' gathering is beginning to take shape after all. A collecting place for those with nothing better to do. Oh, how firmly entrenched and tenacious this tendency towards self-doubt! And how easily roused. Deprecation of the worst kind. I admit it: some situations bring me face to face with life-long demons.

The Heathen In You

The Heathen In You
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

'I'm a great believer in the heathen in you'

Greg Johnson

Sublime In Spring Attire

Sublime In Spring Attire
Originally uploaded by Adagio.

Sublime in spring attire,
liquid amber shrouds singing thrush;
dappled light seeping through
verdant branches, wet with morning rain.


Friday, December 10, 2004

The Intensity Of The Effect

A garden becomes a source of joy. Much like a loved child. While not entirely unexpected, it is the intensity of the effect which has taken me by surprise. Something in my life is growing.