Thankyou, thankyou but would you just hurry up and leave now

ambivalence (n) The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea.

Hits me strongly from time to time. Like this morning. On the one hand, I am enormously grateful to this woman. Filling in at very short notice. Taking on the job with only minimal training. I know what the alternative might have been. And I was spared. On the other hand, I feel irritated and impatient and short-tempered. I am so particular. I know I am. But then, why shouldn’t I be. Having to explain and re-explain, correct and re-correct. Mustering the energy is so exhausting. Ambivalence is uncomfortable, to say the least. Still, I am certainly no stranger to it.

Artist/Henry Scott Tuke