Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Contemplating Deferral

I feel surprised to be considering deferring my current Counselling Theory paper until February next year. More than a little disappointed in the complete lack of motivation I am experiencing. The vast amount of reading I need to complete before undertaking the next assignment, due in three weeks, leaves me cold. No, worse than that. Leaves me frozen.

It’s not difficult to conjecture about possible causes behind the potent psychological barrier standing between me and completion of another paper. Effortless to berate myself for being simply slack. I’ve worked consistently hard the past twenty months. Potentially, this knowledge could provide the permission I seem to be seeking (from whom I wonder?), in order to take a breather for six months. Equally, it could be fuel for self-flagellation.

A decision to defer seems so significant somehow. It probably isn't. I know that the worst I might suffer as a result of such a decision is a sense of having failed. Whatever that means. Could I live with that? I shall soon find out.


Blogger Mary Desmond said...

The kobiashimaru test, without which Kirk would not be Kirk. I won't advise you coz it sounds like you are doing the work. But counselling isn't something you can fail at unless you figure out you have become an expert one day, the best ones are always learning. I hope you find a way of maintaining your poem, it's quite beautiful a lovely way to engage with the right other. My last comment of the night, I sleep now.

11:04 AM  

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